Get your D triple C Now!
Having trouble getting out of bed? Can’t seem to work up the energy to finish up that renovation project? Just too tired to start that term paper?
We’ve got the solution for you!
For three easy payments of $24.95 you can have your very own 1996 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Clone! Let one of these lovely ladies lead you to victory just like they led the Dallas Cowboys to the Superbowl championship in 1996!
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Clones (or D triple C’s) come from the best cloning facilities in North America, where they are spliced and incubated and fed 100% organic IV fluids as well as a prozac wellbutrin cocktail until the age of six. They spend the next 10 years at cheerleader camp in Pensacola, Florida where they are treated to regular spa days and smoothies!
By the age of 16, they’re ready and waiting to come cheer you on in your daily endeavors! Guaranteed to boost your productivity! But don’t take my word for it, listen to what customers had to say:
“I don’t know how I did it before I had Kelly! She gets me out of bed in the morning, all peppy and ready to go, and if I’m pressing up against a deadline at work, she cheers me through it until I want to rip her peppy little face off!”
- Dennis, 48, Scott City, Kansas
“Brittney is a dream come true! Whenever I slagging at the gym or running out of steam on the tennis court, I’ve got Brittney to keep me going. She even got me through the birth of my first child, cheering me on right in the delivery room! Her support in the courtroom during the divorce and custody hearings was invaluable. Thanks D triple C!”
- Kevin, 31, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
“Ever since ordering Melissa, I’ve been able to get whatever I start finished. Whether it’s making breakfast, showing up for group, or tying a noose, her verve and zest gives me the will to get through it.”
- Wayne, (now deceased), Lafayette, Indiana
And there’s more! Now, free with your D triple C, try a beta version George Michael Clone who can sing his hit songs “Faith” and “Freedom! ‘90.” If you’re not satisfied with your George Michael you can just drop him off at your local euthanasia center, no charge!! (disclaimer: legality of euthanasing non beta-version clones varies by state).
So act now, and get your 1996 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Clone with beta George Michael for just three easy payments of $24.95, plus shipping and handling! Make every day a cheerful day!
