December 2009
12 posts
Bodak Thorn of DRD C-72
Installment #1 of the Space Adventures of Bodak Thorn Series
by Gtron Bodak Thorn, missle defense observer 7th class, Western Hemisphere Treaty Organization (WHEAT-O) Navy, represented the latest in hemispherical defense budgeting and accounting technology. The WHEAT-O Navy had selected him from amongst 0.98 million western hemispherical citizens whose thinking-concentration index (THINKCI...
Saving Face
I lifted the paperweight from my desk and threw it in the trashcan across the room. Got up, took it out, and put it back. It wasn’t a paperweight so much as a rock my daughter drew on and gave to me for Christmas. But it kept me occupied. That, and drinking enough water to kill my kidneys so that I could hit the men’s room to break up the endless hours of document review and on...
N.Y.C.T.A Rule Violation 21 N.Y.C.R.R. Part 1050
Dear Officer Menendez,
As you wrote my ticket tonight, I sat on the wooden bench in the subway stop, too dejected to argue with you. Maybe you felt bad as the tears rolled down my cheeks. As you wrote, I went from feeling sad and angry to feeling nothing, and I thank you for that. After all, what is the point of feeling? You probably didn’t want to give me that ticket. I was just a...
Broken Stars
He was wearing a brown corduroy sports coat and had some thick stubble. He was actually pretty attractive. She checked her boobs, ran her hand through her hair and sipped her vodka tonic from a cocktail straw as she walked over to him. But when she got there, she noticed the star above his head was broken.
She tried to tell him, but he didn’t seem to get what she was saying. The music...
The Breakthrough
The steam from the test tube fogged up my safety glasses. Between the florescent light and long hours, my eyes could barely focus anyway. I needed a shave. The project had been going for almost three years, and the NIH was not going to renew our grant without a breakthrough. Probably time to wipe the white board and start brainstorming again. Maybe revisit the data first. No, run the...
variations on a domestic scene
“Moooooom! When’s hairtime? I haven’t had hairtime since this morning!” whined Belmyra, dragging her pink skull and crossbone Converse clad feet until she plopped on the floor. Her “what is fashion?” t-shirt and black skinny jeans were getting covered in dust. “What’s that?” I responded, “I thought I heard someone say something, but it must not have been to me because I...
The Prettiest Coat Hanger
The air stung my hands as I opened mailbox. My body was practically convulsing with the cold, but that was a good sign. It meant I was keeping the winter weight off. On with the morning routine: grab the mail, separate the envelopes, chuck the catalogs into the recycling bin, back into the house. Hat goes in coat pocket, coat goes on hanger, snap top snap, coat goes in facing front door. ...
Someone Likes Coffee Even More Than You
Maritza Mrak-Blumberg was ready. Button check: all buttoned. Zipper up: good. Keys check wallet check phone check phone ring level (medium loud) check keys check. To be completed: unchain then undeadbolt (she smirks at the zombie joke at this part of the process), walk through door then lock it, put hands in pockets (she sews pockets into all of her dresses just for this step) look both ways...
variations on a domestic scene
It was time to send Juanita to fetch Hudson from his homework apartment for dinner. I could just send a holographic message, but sending the maid makes it feel so much more homey. Hudson would be delighted with the Rembrandt I made for dinner, and the Murano glass for desert! I placed the painting on a serving tray and messaged Jon to see if he’d be joining us. He appeared back in a...
the farthest I ever got was octuple stuf →
variations on a domestic scene
“Kids! Dinner!” I shouted, hitting the triangle. The house isn’t so big that we need a triangle, just two bedrooms and the living area, but I always thought it added a touch of class, like the real wooden floor we put in the girls’ room. The boys don’t mind the dirt, plus when it rains they get to have mudfights without leaving the house!
Norma, Sue, Genie, Billy, Bobby and...
Get your D triple C Now!
Having trouble getting out of bed? Can’t seem to work up the energy to finish up that renovation project? Just too tired to start that term paper? We’ve got the solution for you! For three easy payments of $24.95 you can have your very own 1996 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Clone! Let one of these lovely ladies lead you to victory just like they led the Dallas Cowboys to the Superbowl...